ST Online Forum: Families and gays must keep an open mind (Nov 6)

Nov 6, 2007
Families and gays must keep an open mind

IN LIGHT of the recent debate over Singapore's gay sex laws, I have this much to say.

I myself have been gay for as long as I can remember. From the moment I became aware of my sexual urges, they had always been directed towards other males.

I never faced much direct oppression for my sexuality. My very much Christian family, instead of disowning or forcing change on me when I came out to them, were gentle and supportive, as they realised the extremely difficult and unjust position I was in.

Sin or not aside, I could face much prejudice from the public, who treated homosexuals like serial killers. My family understood that being homosexual did not make me one-dimensional. I was still everything else I was before sexuality ever entered the picture: the winner of a school science quiz, the teachers' pet, the artist, their eldest son.

I have gradually come to understand that, objectively, being gay may not be a permanent condition in me. But I also realise change does not come overnight. My family taught me to keep an open mind about everything, no matter what it was. I have a wonderful boyfriend and the both of us have reached mutual understandings with both our families. We both intend to stay together, but we are open enough to change that should time and tide prove otherwise, then we shall gladly pursue heterosexual relationships and remain good friends.

I am not asking for a legalisation of gay sex laws, or for complete freedom as a homosexual to do whatever I want. I merely ask for the majority to uphold the family values they so fiercely defended and love their homosexual members as any other member of the family.

Diseases are a product of promiscuity, not homosexuality. Gays do not deserve hate (or hell) any more than the average person. It's not a 'special' sin in any way. If God were to judge humanity the way we judge one another, we're all doomed, straight or gay. Do not force change either; gently coax it out and allow it to develop naturally.

I also, in turn, suggest to other homosexuals that they re-examine themselves and keep an open mind about their sexuality. Do not be so stubborn and shut to the prospect of change. If we muse to ourselves that straight people can be converted, so it is vice-versa as well.

Kevin Lu Zixian