Timeasia.com: Boys will be girls (2001)

Boys Will Be Girls
In a Bangkok clinic, $1,000 can turn a man into a woman. Some call that the price of freedom
By DAFFYD RODERICK Bangkok

When Chittarika Kijboonsari woke up in the recovery room with a vagina where her penis used to be, she had no regrets. "I woke up smiling. I'd wanted it cut off for so long, it was just a relief to finally look like a woman where it matters most," she says. The doctor did that by splitting the penis up the middle and using the flesh from the scrotum and the root of the penis to mold a labia and clitoris. All that was left to do was go home and break the news to her mother. "She didn't speak to me for three months," Chittarika recalls. "She was scared. She thought I had bad spirits inside me. And then one day she forgave me, she accepted me." Her sisters have as well, welcoming their new sister with gifts of lingerie and makeup. The whole family now cheers her on at transsexual beauty pageants.

The success of last year's smash hit movie Iron Ladies—about a volleyball team comprised of transsexuals—seemed to say to the world that Thailand embraces all. In reality, the film's success owed more to a good storyline than to societal understanding. Although they're not exactly ostracized, transsexuals live on the fringes of Thai society and struggle to be accepted as women. Most of their countrymen believe them to be suffering for bad behavior in a past life.

On Chittarika's identity card her gender—despite her surgery, her little black dress, her long, soft brown hair—is listed as male. Every time an official or employer asks to see it, they find out that she used to be a he. Thai law doesn't allow people to change their gender on identity cards or passports. And yet, Thailand offers people like Chittarika more freedom than most other Asian countries. Singapore and Malaysia push transsexuals much further into the shadows, and the surgery is illegal in Japan.

Nobody knows how many transsexuals there are in Thailand, though some surgeons put the number at more than 10,000. Since there is no official record, there's no telling how many gender change operations are performed every year. But surgery is easily available at a wide range of prices. At the gleaming Bumrungrad Hospital, well-heeled foreigners pay around $6,000 for the works, including breast augmentation and Adam's apple shaving. Some clinics in Pattaya will undo Mother Nature's handiwork for $1,000.

Chittarika knew all along that Nature had made a big mistake. "I wanted to be a girl since before my memory starts," she says, looking entirely feminine in a simple black mini-dress, sipping a frappuccino in Starbucks. Growing up, she played with Barbie dolls and put on her mother's makeup. "In my heart I was a girl, my body just didn't match," she says. Now it definitely does. She does modeling work and appeared on the cover of New Half, a now-out-of-print publication for sao prapet song, "the second kind of woman." The magazine, published by Vanida Koomanuwong, was shut down two years ago by a government policy aimed at limiting media exposure for transsexuals on the premise that they were a bad example for youth. TV shows with transsexual characters—usually used as sassy, obnoxious sidekicks—were told to get rid of the parts. Koomanuwong insists there was nothing vulgar about New Half. It featured real people, with real lives, she says. "People see transsexuals as nasty whores, or as mentally ill, but they're not: they're everyday people."

But while Koomanuwong—who's the first kind of woman, in case you're wondering—advocates for social change, few sao prapet song see any point in being political. Few care to lobby for changes in the rape law, which doesn't cover transsexuals, or for the right to marry. Najaira Lee, a 27-year-old makeup artist, says her biggest concerns are private: whether or not she should tell her boyfriend, an expatriate living in Bangkok, that she used to have a man's body. "Do you think I should?" she asks anxiously. She's not sure her boyfriend would accept her for what she is—and what she was. When she's told men in her past, they've usually become just that, men in her past. Can she risk telling the truth again? "Finding lovers is easy," she muses, "but finding someone who loves you is hard."

BBC World Service: Coming Out: Gay and Lesbian Life in East Asia

Coming Out: Gay and Lesbian Life in East Asia

Standing out from the crowd is hard in any country. But what if your sexuality was outlawed and practising it could land you a lengthy jail term? And what if there was no word in your language to describe the very essence of your being?

The breadth of gay and lesbian experience in East Asia is incredibly varied. It ranges from Chinese lesbians who call themselves 'female comrades' for want of a better word, to 'Muk nar' or transvestites in Islamic Malaysia. East Asia Today's special series: Out In Asia explores the experience of gay men and women in Asia.

Homsexuality and the law
The breadth of experience varies but there is one unifying theme: prejudice. In some cases this is state-sanctioned, as in Malaysia where an accusation of sodomy landed the former Deputy Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim in jail. Across East Asia, laws criminalizing homosexuality exist in Burma, Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei.

Even when there are no specific laws prohibiting homosexuality, discrimination occurs through other more obscure laws, such as in Vietnam where men are forbidden from wearing 'weird or sorcerous garments' or in Taiwan where a law against 'overt lewdness in public places' can give police the power to intimidate the gay community.

Societal pressure
In countries where nothing is specifically enshrined in law, societal pressure can still lead to a fall from grace: recently in South Korea a popular children's television presenter had to resign when he felt he could no longer deny his sexuality.

Even in countries that have traditionally had more lenient views towards homosexuality, like the Philippines, gay people are only accepted into wider society if they fit certain stereotypes. A Filipina sex therapist, Margarita Holmes, describes how gay men are acceptable in the Philippines if they are effeminate, theatrical and perhaps work in a beauty parlour. If they are serious doctors or teachers they are not.

Across Asia the family occupies a paramount position in society. This can lead to incredible pressure on those who do not conform to the so-called norm. In Singapore, Sheila Rajamanikam describes the experiences of lesbians there:

Most of them are forced into marriage and end up having children… there's a huge amount of depression and a few suicides Sheila Rajamanikam, a lesbian from Singapore

As a result, many gay and lesbian people are driven underground, too afraid to talk about their sexuality or 'come out' to their families and friends. Xiao Pei, a Chinese lesbian said:

"I am too afraid to come out to any Chinese friends. If I tell them and they don't understand I am afraid I will lose them and I'm quite afraid of losing my family."

Even when brave enough to come out to their families, ignorance about what it means to be gay can prove astounding. When Zhun Li, a Chinese gay man, told his mother that he was gay she begged him to get a doctor to check if there was something wrong with his body.

Glad to be gay
But despite these adversities, there is a growing feeling among the gay and lesbian communities that things are changing for the better. In Taiwan and Indonesia that is being assisted by more open societies following political change and the gay scenes are flourishing.

Even in Malaysia, despite the spread of Islamic conservatism, there is growing recognition of the existence of gay and lesbian Malaysians who have been previously been ignored. As one young gay Malaysian said of the prosecution of Anwar for sodomy:

It's exposed what was once a taboo in our country…we are still being discriminated against, we are still looked on as freaks. But … it has brought awareness to the community that we do exist and that our existence can no longer be denied. A gay man, Malaysia

When asked if Asia was a good place to be gay, Dede Oetomo, a gay man from Indonesia said:

"It can be once you get beyond the problems with your family, your school, your workplace, but if you can get beyond that then it could be a good place. People are actually quite accepting of people who are useful to the community. They may find gay people, lesbians and transgenders (sic) rather unusual at first but if you can prove yourself to be useful to the community, they can accept you".

Colorq: Baby Dykehood in Singapore (Jul 00)

I was never active in the glbt club scene of Singapore, having left while still a baby dyke. Yet, strangely, my early teenage world seemed to be full of dykes. When I left Singapore with a happy lesbian heart, I thought there was a gay, pink and rosy world out there. I came to in America only to have my face ground in the dirt over and over for merely speaking up for gay people, not to mention being queer myself.

Queer visibility in Singapore

OK, I didn't have any lesbian friends in Singapore. But a large number of my friends and acquaintances were bisexual girls/women who dated lesbians. And almost all non-queer female acquaintances knew at least one other lesbian.

I knew some other lesbians by sight. There was a young, gorgeous butch alum from my middle school whom I had a major crush on. There were plenty of girls (even straight ones) swooning over her already. My entire high school class knew about it. So did she. She had the smuggest smile I'd ever seen, so confident she was that any girl, queer or not, would adore her.

Lesbian visibility rose in the late 80s/early 90s. A child publication of the nation's main English language newspaper ran a front page article on young women who date other young women. The article had an anxious tone, but conspicuously absent was the kind of rabid ranting and raving which characterizes some of the editorials on gay issues we see in U.S. newspapers today.

My Experience Being "Out" in High School

My male classmates enthusiastically tried to "chase" girls for me. Unfortunately, they were not very good at it. I was often embarrassed beyond belief by school boys "whispering" in public, "THERE SHE IS!!! I KNOW SHE'S YOUR TYPE!!! GOOD FOR YOU! THE GIRL'S LOOKING AT YOU!" (Is it surprising she's looking at me when boys are tugging at my sleeve, pointing excitedly in her direction and yelling?)

There were 3 "out" kids in my senior high in Singapore -- one lesbian, one bisexual girl, and one gay. No one bothered us. People had many ways of being cruel to their peers, but gay-bashing was just not one of them.

My gay schoolmate, a flamboyant queen, publicly declared his plan to run for prom queen. He would attend the prom dressed in drag as Madonna. The school principal simply said, "No, you are a boy, you can't run for prom queen." No punishment from authority figures, no attack from peers, no nothing. The worst feedback I've heard about his idea was, "Why Madonna? What bad taste! Pick somebody else!"

In my Singaporean high school years, nobody ever shunned me because of my orientation. Even people who rejected homosexuality on religious grounds didn't see the need to take me off their list of friends. After I came to America, Asian and non-Asian Americans alike, people who claimed to be my friends, cut off contact with me once they found out I was queer. It was culture shock for me -- "Hello! There are people who will walk away from you because you are not heterosexual!" I learnt the word "homosexual" in Singapore. I learnt a new word "homophobia" in the USA.

Gay/Lesbian Life in Singapore

GLBT life in Singapore might sound worse than GLBT life in the US, or better, depending on who you talk to. The key to understanding this is knowing that there is a gap between youth culture and adult culture and a difference between the social climate and the legal climate.

While many young Singaporeans do not mind glbts, most older folk I spoke to disapproved of queers and branded homosexuality as a Western import. I told them, "You don't know these people. You have no idea how many of the queer women I met are 1st, 2nd or 3rd generation Chinese immigrants with traditional Chinese values."

In Singapore, I knew many young people of high school age who were openly queer, but once they reached college age, most of them seemed to go back into the closet. I was surprised when I came to the US and found that the reverse was true. Many of the openly gay/lesbian college students I met had no idea they were queer while they were in high school. For young queer Singaporeans, attaining adulthood means entry into a society which does not tolerate non-conformists of any sort. For their Americans counterparts, attaining adulthood symbolizes independence -- the freedom to be gay/lesbian, finally.

While anti-glbt violence is almost unheard of in Singapore, marriage between persons of the same sex is already written out of the legal definition of marriage. There are no legally-recognized queer organizations. Certainly no groups like PFLAG, and no groups lobbying for same-sex marriage. A group of queers and their straight allies tried to organize a social group, but the Registrar of Societies denied their application, no reasons given. Since all unregistered societies are illegal, the group was basically outlawed.

A Singaporean gay man noted: "There is a lively gay scene in Singapore. But gay men can get into trouble with the sodomy law. (which applies to homosexual and heterosexual acts alike) Lesbians are actually tolerated since they do not break any law."

Another gay Singaporean complained, "Socially, being gay in Singapore isn't bad. The majority of people don't mind gays, and some even delight in the fact that someone is gay. But the legal and political climate is hostile."

[Descriptions of queer life in Singapore are from the writer's own experiences, and are by no means the only views of the glbt experience Singapore]

Singaporean lesbian who studied and worked in the US

Asiaweek: Showing 'Greater Humanity'

Showing 'Greater Humanity'
Family values trump a tough stand on HIV
By ALEJANDRO REYES

In Singapore, swift reversals of policy are rare. So it was noteworthy when the Home Affairs Ministry announced on May 27 that 12 foreign spouses of Singaporeans, who have been or were about to be repatriated because they have the AIDS virus, would be allowed to return or stay in the country. The 11 women and one man had been asked to leave under laws that prohibit HIV-positive immigrants. The cases came to light recently when the local Straits Times newspaper reported how some of the expulsions had separated children from parents. The story sparked public support for the families and opposition against tough application of the rules.

Singapore's leaders took notice. "The law cannot just apply without thinking of the consequences to the family," Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong declared publicly. Within hours, the Home Ministry made known its decision. Later, in a letter to the Straits Times, the ministry insisted that there had been no policy reversal. The law, it explained, was never intended to affect people with family roots in Singapore.

Still, many Singaporeans saw the move as an about-face that underscored the government's more open attitude -- even on an AIDS-related issue. It "shows a greater sensitivity and humanity than expected and also accords with public sentiment," says legislator and lawyer Simon Tay. But he quickly adds that authorities remain firm that HIV-positive visitors be kept out. In no way does the u-turn signal any softening of Singapore's hardline HIV policy, says gay-rights activist Alex Au Wai Ping. The initial decision indicated how "the bureaucracy seems to be completely out of step with public opinion."

Au says that a similar gap exists between bureaucrats and citizens on the treatment of homosexuals. On May 23, the police refused to approve an application by Au to hold a public forum on gay and lesbian issues. The reason, said the rejection letter, was that such a meeting would "advance and legitimize the cause of homosexuals in Singapore. The mainstream moral values of Singaporeans are conservative, and the Penal Code has provisions against certain homosexual practices. It will therefore be contrary to the public interest to grant a license." In late 1996, Au and others applied to register an informal group called "People Like Us" so it could meet to discuss gay and lesbian issues and circulate a newsletter. The application was denied. Three appeals, including one to Goh, were turned down. In April this year, authorities explained that the law indicated refusal if a group "is likely to be used for unlawful purposes or for purposes prejudicial to public peace, welfare or good order."

Au and his colleagues say that getting the government to cite reasons for the rejection is a tiny step forward. But they remain perplexed. The treatment of gays, they argue, is a litmus test of the authenticity of the official drive toward a more open society. To promote civil society, the government is, for example, launching a "speaker's corner" in a local park. There, Singaporeans will be allowed to speak their minds without having to register beforehand.

While the authorities say that citizens aren't yet willing to accept homosexuals, Au and his colleagues counter that attitudes have changed. They recently released a survey which they say shows that citizens -- even in the supposedly more conservative housing-estate heartland -- are more tolerant toward gay activity than expected. For example, 46% of streetside respondents and 74% of those replying on the Internet said they could accept a gay sibling. "It's an indication that Singapore is not the monolithic, anti-gay society the government says it is," Au concludes.

Yet in recent years, authorities have softened their stand on gays -- at least unofficially. "We leave people to live their own lives so long as they don't impinge on others," said Senior Minister Lee Kuan Yew in 1998. "We don't harass anybody." Indeed, Singapore has several widely acknowledged gay hangouts, and local homosexuals are especially active on the Internet. Police have largely discontinued their sting operations to flush out gays. And officials consult more with groups with homosexual members, such as Action for AIDS. Gay themes are often tackled in plays, while movies with homosexual scenes are permitted. In a recent breakthrough, the debut show of a Chinese-language TV drama serial had a gay storyline.

Such loosening is one thing, says Tay, but granting a license to a homosexual group is another. "To allow a society or a public meeting can be likened to ending the ban on Playboy," he notes. "It's a question of symbols, of what is officially allowed. Singapore society has a strong conservative streak that will back the government decision on this issue." In other words, don't expect a major shift on this hot-button topic anytime soon.

ST: Singapore is not ready to accept homosexuality

Singapore is not ready to accept homosexuality

What Readers Say

More than 80 readers gave their responses to last week's feature which discussed if gays should be given more space in Singapore. Here is a summary of their opposing views.

"Make no mistake, society is not ready to accept homosexuality in Singapore." Mr Richard Chiang believes that homosexuality is morally wrong. "I think I represent quite a percentage of Singaporeans when I say that we tolerate homosexuality, but do not respect it at all.'' But, like several others, he adds: "It is not a matter of whether homosexuality will ever be recognised, but a matter of when. Homosexuals may get a more understanding and tolerant audience in probably the next generation or two.''

Agreeing, reader Anthony Koh notes that gays are already enjoying freedom here. He asks: "What more do gays want? A gay marriage certificate? Or the right to apply for HDB flats as gay married couples?'' Reader Raymond Ng describes Singapore as a modern society rooted in traditional values. "Do I hate homosexuals? Not the person, but I shun the act, and I am appalled by the gross misrepresentation in terms of political power which they enjoy in the United States. "I hope that will never come to pass in Singapore,'' he says. Ms Eugenia Ho applauds the Government's decision to reject an application
by gay activist Alex Au to hold a public forum on gay issues. Decision-makers must be responsible to the larger society, she says.

In Ms Anna Chew's view, homosexuality is unnatural and can cause "many social problems if allowed to flourish''. These problems include the rise of Aids and sexually-transmitted diseases, she says. "I do not deny that homosexuals may contribute a lot to society. "However, I believe that, with proper help given to them so that they may revert to heterosexuality, they can contribute even more and also prevent social problems from escalating,'' adds Ms Chew

ST: More youths going public, seeking help

More youths going public, seeking help

Intro: young people in Singapore are "coming out" into the open about their homosexual orientation, and a steady stream is seeking help on coping with it.

Singapore Planned Parenthood Association's president, Mr John Vijayan, believes this is because "more are looking for support from others with similar experiences and struggles", and that the younger generation is more accepting of gay persons. In the last three years, the SPPA, which advocates family-life education programmes and offers advice on sexual matters, has counselled about 40 people each year. Their ages ranged between 13 and 30, and their concerns included fear of their own inclinations and confusion about their feelings.

Some grappled with self-hatred and anger at their parents and society, while others fought depression and suicidal tendencies, says Mr Vijayan.

Tanjong Pagar GRC MP S. Vasoo, who heads the Government Parliamentary Committee on Community Development, notes "Singapore is globalising and one cannot but be confronted with various social changes which are brought about by human interaction and IT [internet technology?]). "Some of these can affect our social values and, in turn, our life courses and choices." The young must be taught, he adds, "how to live their lives at their best, with due concern for others". Father Bernard Teo of the Novena Church says his staff members working among youth have reported that many are going through the phase of sexual confusion and talking about it.

It may be due to peer pressure to come out, he says. "Some go along with the flow, some grow out of it, while others affirm it." Finding out their child is gay "comes as a shock to some parents. They don't know how to handle it", adds the Catholic priest. This does not mean, of course, that the number of gay people in Singapore has shot up. No official data is available, but, going by the average in most countries, the homosexual community here should make up no more than about 5 per cent of the population. In the United States, about 4 per cent of men and 2.3 per cent of women are exclusively homosexual. In China, surveys have found that about 5 per cent are homosexual.

In any case, when it comes to human rights, numbers do not settle the question. The Indian community in Singapore is also about 5%, the Eurasian, Baba or Sinhalese, much, much less. For that matter, the ballroom dancing, golfing or cricket enthusiasts too. Would we be justified in criminalising them, denying them their public forums, societies, films or reading material because they are not numerous?